Out of all Randomness

This post has been pending since I honestly don't know when. This entity in life known as college has literally sucked the little amount of optimism and hope that was left in this exceedingly peace-deprived mind of mine. That person who told me "Study well for your +2, college will be a breeze" should die a thousand deaths, worse than the way Harry killed Voldemort, more chilling than the way Sauron was defeated, more brutal than the way anyone dies in the Saw series (sorry, I couldn't think of any badass brutal scenes at the moment, so bear with me).
The point is, despite all this craziness of classes, assignments, tests, drama, I still couldn't get a depressing feeling out of my head. Maybe its just how this semester passes by, hopelessly wondering whether you'll pass in the subjects that bore the life out of you, or sit through another lecture that sucks every last bit of consciousness that's left inside your body. And then, I dream.
I dream of home, my mother, my brother, my refrigerator, my TV, my bed... Ughhhhh, it's so frustrating to sit on my bed here inside my room and type in this heat with nothing but a headache.
The fact that college is so hard is actually very relative. I'm the kind of person who cares about her image in front of teachers, her marks because being a 'good-girl' is hard-wired into my brain, even if it's at the cost of being called the nerd (that's nothing new, I've been associated with people with high intellect all my life and I have absolutely no regrets). In fact, having a long conversation about anything related to anything, be it a newspaper article, or politics, or even football, gets me high. Math creeps me out at times, probably because I never had the correct guidance to actually enjoy the subject, I took it more like a hurdle to cross rather than a passion like most of my IITian friends (probably that's why I'm not one of them). Otherwise, I enjoy Physics, and Chemistry alike. But the Chemistry that falls under Engineering may fall out of your head the second you read it. It's deceiving, cruel and very volatile like most of the reagents in my Chem Lab. Nevertheless, I don't mind studying it or discussing it with my friends.
Then comes the basis of my next three years in college -Programming.
The fact that I never really took it seriously in school, and did it just to score the highest in class and never really thought that I'd be pursuing it later on in life has made me pay the price in a horrible way. My best friend is literally an ace, and sometimes when I see him writing vigorously on the sheet of answers, it makes me a little jealous and sightly wistful at the same time, and I wonder "Where was I when this was being taught in school?". But then I realize, that I never really took any of this seriously.
The point is, every time you learn something anywhere; be it school or coaching, or tuition or even the dining table with your family, all it takes is a little effort and interest to remember it. You never know when you need it in life. For example, if at some point in my life, I'm working at a pharmaceutical company as a managing director (oh yes, big dreams right there) I might have to take a call at some point of time, and my knowledge of chemicals that was taught to me in my first year of Engineering may come flooding into my mind, and I'll be able to make the right decision. That might not be a very apt example but here's another true story that I experienced today.
At the recruitment test of IEEE in my college today, I signed up for the Computing and IT part of the core team. The test contained questions on C, C++ and basic computer related problems. I was shocked to see how little of C I remembered. Of course I could brush it off saying that I learnt it years back, how can anyone possibly remember all this.
But the thing is, I should have.
That's how funny life is you see, I'm barely 20 and yet I'm talking as if I've experienced the worst possible hardships in life. Thankfully, I haven't made too many mistakes that a girl of my age may make, so I'm quite aloof at that matter. But my life lies ahead of me. There'll be hundreds of decisions to take and millions of new things to learn. I just need to take in as much as I can and I pray that God will take care of the rest. :)
Lastly, I'd like to apologize for coming out with such a random post, but the credit goes to Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway for starring in this absolutely pathetic movie called "Love and Other Drugs" that made me realize that I wasted a significant part of my life watching that nonsense. Hence I'm compensating it by writing a much awaited blog post.

I Like To Make Myself Believe

"I like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly"

My mind sways to the voice of Owl City as I decide to write a long awaited blog post. The time has passed rather quickly when I look back now, although it seemed like eternity back then. The day just didn't seem to end as I sat in the examination hall, racking my brain till the last minute for every bit of information I read in the books to write in the answer sheet. The moment my last exam ended on a wonderful note (it was English, so you can guess how 'difficult' it was) and I found myself in the most picturesque beach in the area with my two closest friends in college. The welcoming smell of the sea, repulsive taste of the salt and the texture of small grains of sand under my bare feet; the entire ecosystem surrounding the vast expanse of the sea embraced me with open arms.
The day passed by blissfully, and ended with a lovely dinner with my best friend at Pizza Hut. The walk upto my hostel with the person I care about most in the campus was the silver lining to that wonderful day.

Two days later was a journey which I was looking forward to for about a month and a half. Little did I know that the journey would be the most mortifying and pain staking in its kind. A couple of students of my college and I took a flight to Mumbai and were going to hop onto another at Mumbai that would lead us to home sweet home. An unfortunate turn of events and we found ourselves waiting in the Mumbai airport for over 4 hours due to flight delay. We had started considering calling up our friends and relatives there in Mumbai in case we had to bunk in for the night. But as gracious and scheming as God always is, He found us a way to get home finally. The aircraft that was supposed to land at 4:00pm in the afternoon, touched down at 11:30 at night.
Lesson learnt. How to survive in a public place smelling full of sweat, coffee and sanitizers. Furthermore, an Indian fleet of airlines whose name rhymes with "ice-let" serves Khichdi and Tropicana to weary travelers who have been sitting with their asses sore for over 7 hours!

So after that personalized insight to the life and times of a weary winter air traveler, I finally snuggled up inside my quilt, next to my little brother, on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the world - my bed. And it gets better... with a novel.
Ah!
Perfect winter bliss.

I kept thanking and silently praying to my Institute for being so considerate and planning to give us engineers-in-the-making, a well deserved break into foggy, dewy and snuggly-wuggly winter at our homes.

After a couple of outing with my schoolmates and a great Christmas party organised at the club, I found myself in an airplane taking me to the most cherished place in the entire world. My birthplace, Digboi.

After that the whole trip seemed to finish in a complete whirlwind. Starting from the dance parties, jam sessions and dinner parties at the posh Digboi club, to spending the worst New Year of my life (coughing my lungs out in fever), the adventurous boat rides on the mighty Brahmaputra (yes, that's the river in the picture), sightimg plenty of migratory birds and a wild Kaziranga trail on the backs of a rather moody, old elephant... the trip had its share of ups and downs. Short and sweet, just the way I like everything!
Wait. Well, not EVERYTHING. (If you know what I mean, you perverted piece of junk!)

Somehow, as I'm typing this blog post down, sitting in my hostel room and staring at a rather bright screen with sleepy eyes, I can't help but remember all those people I met in my homeland who showered so much love on me since my birth. Some very much, others not so much. But its the feeling that counts. And I consider myself utterly blessed to belong to such a wonderful, beautiful and respected clan of my land.

If you're thinking "Say, that's by far the most sentimental piece of junk I've ever read", then fear not, dear readers.
There's a masterpiece that I've been working on though, and I still need quite some time to finish that piece of writing.
Till then,

ciao~

That One Thing About Me

Self Pity.

This will be the cause of my fall in life.

My weakness.

My death.

Its what I involuntarily indulge in. Anything sad that happens in my life invariably brings me down to such lows that tears cease to fall.

Things as petty as marks, for that matter.
As I've mentioned before, college started out on a lovely note. Lots of friends, places, people, et cetera et cetera.
But then came the devil. My very first examinations in college.
The sessionals.

By judging from my one liners and one worded sentences, you may have guessed I'm feeling rather hot headed at the moment. It indeed is true. So no matter what time I have to sleep tonight, I WILL FINISH THIS BLOG POST.

Let me back up a little.

Today was the last day of my 10-day break. I was on my way back to Manipal with two of my closest friends. The day seemed bad from the morning I woke up.
Firstly, I didn't want to leave home. The comfort of ready made meals any time of the day, the television, Connaught Place, malls... Life was indeed bliss.
But today morning 4 o'clock, I knew it had to be a bad day. The splitting headache, constant nausea throughout the flight, the dreaded feeling of facing the academics of engineering simply brought me down. I was feeling low in confidence so bad, that I felt like breaking down and crying. And on top of that the sessional marks were a total bummer. My friend whom I'd spent hours teaching maths got 5 marks more than me. I felt like a total loser.

So here I am, sitting in my room after a long tiresome day with nothing but a laptop on my lap, a seething pain on my foot and a hoard of worry up that organ which is a sorry excuse for a brain.

Indeed I have nothing else to wish for. This day couldn't get any worse.

Thank You dear Lord.

p.s - Guess that was a tad too much of self pity overdose right there.